Greetings, Welcome, and Happy Holidays:
Well! It seems I have taken a brief hiatus from this blog, and many of you may have been wondering how I have fared and whether or not my endeavors toward recovery have proven successful. In short, I drifted back to my "comfort" pattern in which I have eaten enough to maintain my low weight: sometimes increasing, sometimes decreasing -- but always fluctuating around familiar bounds. At 20-years-old, only days away from turning the big 2-1, I possess a BMI of 13.4 (at least, as of 12/17/13). However, I have recently become motivated again toward recovery -- hence my return to this blog. Only this time, things are different; this time, I have been following through. And - more importantly - I am (so far) enjoying the recovery process -- truly excited to be rid of the eating disorder (you know, that entity that, for me, is Anorexia. Such a foreboding name for a psychological manifestation, no? But a deadly curse, it is).
The result of my increased dietary intake thus far has been an increase of 2.2 pounds within three days' time. Usually, it is recommended that one gain weight at a maximum of 2-3 pounds per week while in recovery mode; but I have gained this much in less than half of that time. Yet I... actually feel good about it. My major concern has been the anticipation of physical changes I will start to see (and have seen, to some extent) in my body -- (though I also realize much of this is from a distorted perception) -- for I have conducted some research in the matter of weight restoration proportions in those with eating disorders, and every study I have come across has described the same basic conclusions: as opposed to control subjects without eating disorders who gain weight, those who are significantly underweight and are re-fed end up with large amounts of fat accumulation in the abdominal, midsection region. This is supposedly a normal finding due to the individual's body in question trying to spare the nutrients and fat for the major organs in case of potential starvation and, eventually, the body should distribute the accumulated stores throughout the body so proportions will "equalize" for the individual.
I plan to hold strong despite the changes I will see. Today marks Day Four of my newfound Recovery Mode (thus, the reason for my post title, "An Outlook Toward a True End" to the disorder), and I am feeling wonderful (despite the ice storm we had last night. *shivers* I am glad it is the weekend, as it grants me leave to spend the day in warmth -- with a good book and multiple mugs of hot cocoa in hand). I will try to update my blog a bit more often than I have been, perhaps writing a random post now and then rather than focusing solely on the conflictions of an eating disorder. But I hope to perhaps inspire others to pursue their own recovery -- or at least be able to relate and know that suffering is a commonality during this process, and there are always helping hands and lending ears for those who are not quite ready to seek recovery but are looking for support in order to eventually make the big decision toward HEALTH.
Until next time~
